Yesterday I completed the first draft of my Wharton’s career goals essay. The first reaction from my sister-in-law was that it is better than my previous year’s essay. Today morning when I read the essay again with wearing a critical hat, I identified the following improvement areas
1. Answer “why is now the best time for you to join our program?”
2. Avoid generic reasons for Why Wharton question, such as, “With excellent faculty, diverse and intelligent student body, and global alumni network Wharton MBA appeals to me”. I need to be more specific.
3. Link my entrepreneurial failure to not having an MBA
4. Connect my non-profit initiative to my long term career.
5. I have repeated similar sentence construction many times. This could make the reader uninteresting.
6. Variation in Vocabulary: I have used some word too many times: ‘work’ (11), ‘focus’ (6), and ‘learn’ (7).
7. And the very obvious one, word count. I stand at 1400 words now.
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